From the Desk of Percival

It was a beautiful Tuesday night at the MOA auction house as the air crackled with anticipation of the 18x18 private island resort that was due to be auctioned. Many patrons had been had been saving for weeks in hopes of purchasing this one of a kind GM placed house. Justin was the honored auctioneer with the distinguished Grigory backing him up as broker, and our very own Dosa Ravengard cashiered. Energy was in the air of Brittania as Percival and Keeper, wizards of great renown, opened magical portals from all of the major cities to the auction house. The auction kicked off at 8p.m. sharp, and bidders went to war over such items as a Full set of Snowglobes, a Soulstone Token, Double Slayer and other Uber weapons, armor and rare items. With such a packed house, this was definitely going to be a night to remember!

Finally at 9pm the time had come to auction off the private island. Gates were magically opened in the auction house so that everyone had one last chance to view this truly breathtaking island. 35 million was the opening bid with 36 million following close behind. "37 million!" someone shouted while at the same time across the room we heard "40 million!". Apocalypse was there in the crowd shouting "41 million!". This was definitely going to be a war! The crowd was cheering the bidders on as the price rose higher and higher. Who can really put a price on such a unique piece of UO property? 42 million, 43 million, 44, 45..."Going once!" Justin shouted...."Going twice!"...."46 million!". "46 million!" shouted Justin, his voice barely heard over the excited noise of the crowd. Across the room was Apocalypse, I could clearly see him mentally calculating what it was going to take to win his dream home. "Going once!" said Justin, "Going twice!"...Apocalypse quickly spoke up, "47 million!". "48 million!" was the response, followed with 49 million, then 50 million! With only a moments hesitation Apocalypse cried out "51 Million!" A hush came over! the crowd. Justin scanned the room looking for an answering bid. "Apocalypse 51 million going once!"...again Justin looked out at the crowd, not wanting to miss a potential bid. This was going to be someone's dream home and Justin knew there could be no mistakes. "Apocalypse 51 million going twice!". Not a sound could be heard anywhere in the house. Apocalypse shook with anticipation of his dream coming true as his wife sat next to him holding his hand. Justin cleared his throat and said, "Apocalypse 51 million...and...SOLD!" A roar went up in the room, as people jumped from their seats shouting and clapping! Apocalypse nearly fell from his bench as his head swam with the reality that his dream had come true. He had just won an 18x18 customizable house that had been placed by a GM on a private island, the house and the island were all his!

To celebrate this wondrous occasion, Dosa and Percival (me of course!) met up with Apocalypse and his beautiful wife Kira after the auction. Keeper brought them a potted flower as a house warming gift, while Dosa and I brought over a rose, a cake, and of course, a bottle of champagne. The champagne was shared by us all as the sky was illuminated with a grandiose fireworks display.

While talking with Apocalypse and Kira I learned a little more about them. Apocalypse has been playing UO now off and on for five years. A veteran of many battles and adventures, he has had many ups and downs throughout his career. Kira has been playing for close to a year now and they have both decided that they are going to use this new house as an opportunity to help give back to the Lake Superior community. After moving all of their possessions into the house and re-designing, which as many of you know can be one of the most arduous challenges the game has to offer, they plan on opening up a guild specifically aimed at helping new players on UO, as well as a lock picking house open to the public. Apocalypse started on Lake Superior five years ago and has also set up home bases on LA and Chess. Much of his UO life has been spent living in a log cabin near the town of Yew. Unfortunately the property value near Yew has diminished as swamp land has taken over the area, causing Apocalypse's once beautiful landscape to become a muddy mess. He has been discouraged over the years numerous times and though he has taken breaks now and then, he has always come back to this land so rich in diversity. It was obvious his excitement was barely contained as we talked over champagne at his new luxury home throughout the night.

I am happy to see this home go to such a deserving and well intentioned couple as Apocalypse and Kira. We all make our way through the lands of Brittania, many of us hoping to make some sort of impact on the world around us. Apocalypse and Kira now own a part of UO history and plan on continuing their legacy with their contributions. I am proud to be a member of MOA and to have witnessed this event, and look forward to seeing other UO dreams come true.

The Majestic Oaks Team
www.uo-moa.net

The website contest which began last Wednesday, April 20th, has concluded. The final clue appears in the Madness, Mayhem, and Doom post below.

If you haven't already, sharpen your noggin and read through the past weeks articles and find the clues. When pieced together properly, the clues will lead you to a word or phrase.

There are 6 prizes of 250k for correct answers. The first 3 winners will be announced tomorrow night at the Wednesday Auction. The final 3 winners will be announced on Thursday. All 6 winners will then be announced here along with the answer.

So hurry and submit your entry to: contest@uo-moa.net. Remember, the first 6 entries received will win.

For more information, please see the original website contest post.

Best of Luck!
The Majestic Oaks Team
www.uo-moa.net

The evening was anything but normal last night at Majestic Madness! Our patrons are accustomed to seeing a beautifully decorated room with Monty Hall and his lovely assistant, Vanna White, hosting Let's Make a Deal. However, the pair were nowhere to be found. Instead, patrons were met by blood, bones, darkly shrouded staff members, Jeff the Liche and a banshee called Saprozoica.

Rhey of Ultima's was the night's featured vendor. He sells Doom and SE Stealables at J & W Vendors in Luna. It seemed tonight that he packed the prize chests as every deal included something from Doom as a prize.

The big winners were Chaucer, who walked away with a Doom Lamppost, Tia, who left sporting a Shroud of Umbra, Nykki, who will be either serving Skinned Goat for dinner or offering burnt sacrifice, Lady Shiva, who will be awesome against Blood Eles with her new Spellbook, and Noeye, who will be admiring his Gruesome Standard with his other eye. The biggest prize of the night was a Hanging Studded Tunic. It was won by Alexandra, who was giddy with excitement merely at being selected to play (she answered a trivia question correctly). When the big box was opened and the tunic fell out, Alexandra about fell over! Lucky for her, she was able to maintain consciousness as the Madness staff had the UO Paramedics more than overwhelmed with a night full of dying games.

The crew opened with Poison Apple. Well... Saprozoica, they called her Zoie, didn't die so Jeff finished her off. Next was Rotten Fish which had Zoie dead again. Clash of the Corpses followed with Jeff the Liche taking the deadly fall for poor Sangria, who walked away with a joke prize - training dummies. Thanks Jeff. Grendlyn took the next fall as Nykki, Lady Shiva, and Jhonny Boy, tried to guess how many pain spikes it would take to kill her. Jeff made the mistake of killing her with poison strikes which invalidated the results so they killed her again. By the way, it took 5. The final death of the evening was actually three. Walter, Natasha, and Grendlyn all died when contestants Noeye, Sir Blackie, and Lady Bertha made them open trapPed chests.

As you can see, the games were crazy (and deadly). The prizes were cool. The good news is, the lunatics at the castle do something wacky every Monday night, same time, same snow!

The Majestic Oaks Team
www.uo-moa.net

Updated: Tuesday, April 26th at 4:50pm EST to include a clue for our website contest.

The common room at the Luna Tavern was still quite active from the nights patrons of the fine food and spirits that made the owner quite famous. It also drew people from far off lands to home hear tales of legend and lore from the finest bards to rival those of lord British's personal repertoire. The ale was brought in from a Yew, an old recipe a family of hermit rangers had hoarded since its inception and it was well worth the gold pieces. Mutton from the finest stock Delucia had to offer, and serving maids who could most certainly loosen any man's purse strings were in no small supply.

A small table in a quiet corner held three figures. These were not leftovers from the night's frolicking but yawning newcomers who hoped some food remained and mayhap's a little tea to start this day. It was terrible Tuesday when this trio had to start early in order to prepares for the upcoming day's event.

Grigory, Dosa, and Tiny Dancer were charged this week with the task of preparing the Majestic Oaks Auction lineup for tonight. Keeper came into the dimly lit room holding a scroll and choosing a seat beside Dosa. Grigory nodded for him to start reading just as the tea and breads arrived.

"We're going to have a Small Tower Deed for sure" Keeper stated whilst cHewing a roll. He laid the scroll out on the table and the others began to read. Dosa circled some items and then went to pouring tea for her friends. Tiny Dancer saw all the 120 Powerscrolls and asked that they be added. Grigory had a few favorites as well including:

• Barbed Kit
• Blood Tile
• Multiple 120 Powerscrolls including Swords, Provocation, Necromancy, and Chivalry
• Ice White Royal Guard Sash
• Soulstone Code

"Heck" Keeper stated, "we may as well do the Vendor House as well since Mudge was so kind as to allow us to offer it to the good patrons it's the least we can do." The group nodded in agreement and the second house was tossed into the Tuesday lineup right on the main road a most famous vendor house.

Dosa stretched and smiled "I guess that does it for the business part, how about we order some real food and relax a bit before going to put this all into motion." In unison they raise their glasses and toasted to that fine thought - a few hours with no worries would do them all the world of good.

So now that the staff has planned your event for this week don't forget to stop by and visit them inside Ultimas Vendor Emporium just south of Luna bank every Tuesday at 9 Eastern. If you have a question, wish to submit an item or just read more about what the MOA family is planning you can always visit us at www.uo-moa.net.

The Majestic Oaks Team
www.uo-moa.net

Strange things are afoot at the castle. It is believed that Grendlyn has finally lost her mind and turned to "the dark side".

Please join us, Tonight, Monday, April 25 at 8pm CST (9pm EST) over at the MOA castle on Ice Island for Let's Make a Deal without your hosts, Monty Hall and Vanna White as we believe Grendlyn might have done them in... really can't say but soMething sinister is going on!

While we have your attention, we would like to remind you of a few things. First, don't forget about the website contest and the clue that is hidden within this article. Second, please remember to park your mounts inside our new stable when you arrive (just in front of the castle). And finally, while inside the stable, take notice of the saddle. We got that from Rhey of Ultimas! To thank him, we will be featuring his vendor shop once again this week!

See you tonight!

The Majestic Oaks Team
www.uo-moa.net

From the Desk of Ethereal

Despite being short-handed for the night, Chicken Fight Club put on a great show in their usual fun and exciting style. Owners and spectators were all in a lively mood as they sized up the chickens waiting to square off in the ring. MC Henry Zoate announced the first match of the night, which was Popeye's Chicken vs. Eliot Ness. Eliot Ness, owned by Kyoji Kagami-San, was the newcomer of the evening. Despite heavy betting on Popeye, Eliot appeared unruffled as he entered the ring. Kyoji's chicken showed nice form, but was beaten by GoldDigger 's more experienced Popeye.

Next up was WhippyChicII, owned by Ms Whipple of T, vs Nectar's chicken, Cattle Killer. The betting crowd kept bookie rachel busy as they lined up to wager on their favorite fowl. Cattle Killer clearly had a lot of support in the crowd, but he was beaten in a swift match by the heftier WhippyChicII. The third match promised to be an exciting one. Five-time champ Rooster Cogbern against the current champion Cannibal Chicken. Linchpin 's Cannibal proved the victor in a closely-fought match that had the crowd cheering throughout.

For a change of pace, the usual half-time mare fights were held off to the end of the night. The next match was between Cannibal Chicken and Popeye's Chicken. Cannibal made short work of his opponent thiS match, but found more of a challenge in the final round against WhippyChicII. The crowd was at fever pitch as the two long time rivals faced off. The fight was long and close, but in the end Cannibal held onto his champion title for another week.

As always, CFC's Quistis Zoate had plenty of trivia to keep the crowd entertained between matches. Trivia winners for the night were Cuthbert, Boba Fett, Orlan, TaylrMaid Blu, Squall, Linchpin and Cernnunos.
To finish off the night, Ultimecia's nightmare Griever entered the ring to challenge the champ, UNO, owned by Luke . UNO appeared to be losing but rallied nicely in the end to retain his title.

High Drama donated the prizes for the evening, with 200k for first place, 125k for 2nd and 75k for 3rd. Other sponserd of the evening were Rhen and Company and Michel's General Store . CFC would like to thank the generousity of their sponsors for making CFC possible.

Anyone interested in entering a chicken can bring it to the club Saturday evening before the fights. You may check the rules at the CFC site: http://uo-cfc.siteburg.com .

The Majestic Oaks Team
www.uo-moa.net

From the Antlered Desk of Kelwyn

For some reason we love giving nicknames to UO items, spells, critters and places. Those regal place names of UO get mutated to Trinny, Vesp, 'Glow, Buc's, and Brit. My favorite bank's in Jello (Jhelom). We load up on regs or reggies, and bandies. We wield bardies, hallies, and kats while wearing plate or ring that we hope is meddy. Don't get me started on all the abbreviations! HCI! SDI! DI! MRI! (Oh, wait, that last one is a RL thing!) Then we go to fight bals, draggies, fannies, ophies, and bloods.

Now we've had arties and marties and if you're in the habit of fighting levi's for the nautical marties then you have nauties (pronounced naughty). And now the Tokuno scenario has brought us tomarties, also called tarties, and by our wacky group: tomatoes. Whatever new scenarios and expansions OSI comes out with, new nicknames will surely follow.

Recently, while trying to come up with the website contest clue that appears somewhere in this article, our guild spent quality time in the dojo and stumbled upon all new tomatoes! In the interest of enlightening our patrons here are the new cherry tomatoes:

Chest of Fruit of the Looms: An ornate chest that contains socks and underwear. Negative karma will make it dirty socks and underwear! Open at your own risk!

Demon Sporks*: Open an account at the First National Bank of Zento and get the whole set of demon dishes! (*Sporks are those half-spoon/half forks you get at fast food restaurants)

The X-Filer: A large David Duchovny-shaped club used to beat unbelievers senseless. "The truth is out there, dang it!"

Ancient Farmer's Casa: A small, portable hovel for those who like slumming. Smells like freshly manured fields.

Gloves of the Sun: Hold hands over head while wearing these babies to produce bright sunlight under any weather conditions. Should come in handy at the next UO Town Hall Meeting in rainy Seattle.

Doofus Hood: A ninja hood that lowers both dex and int. Not sure why this is a good thing.

Tomb of Enlightenment: You've all heard about this one. When a player carries this small portable device, a new option gump appears on screen when they die, asking if they would like to "enter the tomb". It's pretty dark in there, and there's nothing to do, but as long as you remain inside you get an intelligence bonus of +25

Filtered Dancer Pans: Special cookware for purifying water.

Ancient Samurai D'oh: A piece of armor which applies a constant "incognito" spell when worn, and lowers your int by 20. Of course, as soon as you put it on, you realize you should have known it would change your name to "Homer". D'oh!

Arms of Tactile Excellence: As soon as you put them on, your character has an uncontrollable need to walk up and touch everything they fight including balrons, ancient wyrms and dark fathers. At this point you should arm your X-Filer and open the Tomb of Enlightenment.

Pleasant Bow Cute-O: Not just purely ornamental, this headdress is in the form of a large floppy bow, which sits at a rakish angle on your head. Carries the extraordinary ability to filter the speech spoken by other players. e.g "wtf dewd!" becomes "Hi there hon!" and "stfu newb" is seen as "Thank you so much, sweetie!" Non-dyeable; comes in pastel pink and lavendar.

Urn of [Insert own Name Here]: Can be used in the event the warrior is wearing both the Arms of Tactile Excellence and the Pleasant Bow Cute-O simultaneously.

Day-O's Helm: A helm with attached dreadlocks that make you want to sing calypso and reggae tunes. Great for you fisherfolk!

Legs of Instability: Causes wearer to stumble across room and tumble down, thus leading wearer's prey to believe they've just killed you and cease their attack.

And then we come to the big tomatoes.

The Hoarselord: Sure to become a favorite with paladins and nInjas everywhere! This artifact provides a soothing balm for your throat, allowing you to continue your ungodly screams and yells long after your colleagues have lost their voices!

Tomb of Lost Knowledge: Similar to the Tomb of Enlightenment but can only be used to study for final exams. Can sell these on college campuses for lots of gold!!

Sword of Perplexity: A Daisho that makes the wielder very lucky but also very confused.

Windage: Fans that fart. A great party item!

Kasa of the Cajun: A hat that comes with a spicy remoulaude sauce and steamed crawfish.

Rune Beetle Carpet: An intricately patterned throw rug that can be worn as a poncho and recalled off of to the Tomb of Enlightenment.

Sword of the Stamp Collector: A handy sword-shaped letter opener.

So there you have it! We say tomatoe, you say tomartie, ... a rose by any other name would still taste great in a salad!

The Majestic Oaks Team
www.uo-moa.net

That's right! Today's news comes to you from: The Desk of Summerann...

Thursday was yet another exciting night at auction. Not only did a lot of great items hit the table, the MOA team gave away over a Million in gold as well!

I do have to say that the thing that caught this girl's eye was the beautiful Seahorse statuette sitting on the floor. N Muntz was quick to point out that, no, it was not on the block for tonight, but for next week's auction. He wouldn't say if it was for Wednesday or Thursday. Strangly though, the Seahorse disappeared shortly after the conclusion of the auction. How odd.

Ethereal mounts hit the block again tonight and prove to be ever popular as Kortany snagged the first one, with the second one going to Mrs. Miner. However, there was some question regarding the second mount. It seems that the patrons were trying to buy Emerald Ice along with the horse. Could this be why the second ethy went for a bit more than the first.

Jewels were also a hot item tonight with Spaz walking away with a lovely 7000 Star Sapphire Jewel set. A Diamond the size of a seahorse was battled over by Deadpool, Savannah, Bertha, Quistis Zoate, Alexandria, Morganna and Dogyo Warrior, but it was Whipstitch that beat them all out and won the bid.

A couple of other note worthy items hit the block, the first being a bushel, which was won by Bost. A Hooded Shroud of Shadows also drew a large crowd of bidders, but Arilang was victorious with his bid. A +60 ASH was taken home by Odin even though Deadpool and Spaz gave him a run for his money. As usual, the final sale of the evening was the Mystery Chest. It had Spaz's name written all over it!

In support of MOA's current Website Contest (btw, your third clue appEars somewhere in this story) the trivia questions consisted of information one can acquire by reading MOA's website. The obvious visitors of the site and lucky winners were Matrix, Mrs. Miner, Odin and Bost.

After all was said and done, DJ Scorp realized he had emptied the coffers and left for the bank, it was only moments later that N Muntz informed everyone that poor DJ was lost. (I wonder if this is a usual occurance with DJ.) Thanks to three kind patrons, Aphrodite, Tana and Wren he was returned safely to the MOA house.

The Majestic Oaks Team
www.uo-moa.net

From the Desk of Ethereal

Wednesday night's auction saw a lot of fast-paced bidding and lots of free gold given away. In fact, there was over 1 million gold in prizes for the night! Matrix was the big winner, answering three questions for a total of 750k! Mira won 250k, the only patron quick enough to beat Matrix on the last question of the night.

There were a lot of great items on the table, including a full set of reward robes and cloaks, which netted a total of 18,225,000 gp! Other top selling items included a Staff of the Magi and a nice wedding rIng engraved with the words: "To my one and only love forever and always, your Queen"

It seems that ring had a strange effect on Soul Blighter's mind. I could hear him muttering to himself through the rest of the night. By the time the Mystery Chest hit the table, he was yelling at Pratt! "You sold the ring!" he cried "You sold my preciousssss!" Pratt seemed a bit shaken by this and was having some trouble calculating the discount on the Mystery Chest won by Odin. Soul triumphantly threw a 75k check on the table and declared that we would give that to Odin to take the chest off our hands! This act seemed to pacify Soul , and the night ended peacefully.

Gold for the trivia this Wednesday and Thursday is generously donated by The Order of the Ebony Knights. Thursday night's auction will see another million in gold given away in honor of the new web contest, so those who missed it will get another chance!
See you tonight!

The Majestic Oaks Team
www.uo-moa.net

Majestic Oaks is having a Website Contest with six 250k prizes!

For the next week, we will be publishing at least one new story per day. Each story will have a word in it with an odd capiTal letter, like the letter "T" in the word "capital" that just appeared in this sentence. Of course, the reason that the letter "T" in the word "capital" is considered odd is there really was no reason for that letter to be capitalized since it isn't a proper noun and didn't start off a sentence.

Your job is to collect the odd capital letters in our news stories over the next week and unscramble them to produce a word or phrase dealing with Ultima Online.

To enter, send an email to: contest@uo-moa.net with your character name, ICQ# (if you have one), and what you think the word or phrase is. The first 6 correct entries received will win 250k.

The first 3 winners will be announced at the auction next Wednesday night and the last 3 winners announced at the auction on the following night. All 6 winners will then be announced on our website. You do not need to be present at the auction to win.

The contest begins now, with this news article, and will include all news articles posted on or before Tuesday, April 26th. Please note, you may only submit 1 entry so make sure it's a good one.

The Majestic Oaks Team
www.uo-moa.net

From the desk of Soul Blighter, Manager MOA Wednesday Team...

For the past two weeks, some of the staff have exerted their will as to which items would hit the auction block the following week. Security in the vault has been unsuccessful. This week, I have a new plan in which I will horde all the finer items and offer them the protection of mine own home to assure no one will be altering the order of what goes off when.

I think this might be the way to go for a bit lest we succumb to the will of whomever walks into our vault. Such an action would most certainly unbalance the submissions list and place items before others waiting to be sold longer.

Let me know your thoughts and intentions for the Thursday nights list. I will take no action until you answer.

Soul folded the note and spoke what was almost a hiss and it disappeared...

The MOA instant message system was a complex magic spell that allowed the staff to instantly contact each other and reply to messages received just as quickly. In an instant, a small spark of light opened on the desk of MOA's other manager, DJ Scorp, who was staring at the ceiling from his day chair when the magical alert became evident. After reading this message, he chose to compile a reply...

Soul, I agree that the order of item submissions must be preserved but I feel these pranksters have done much to flavor the variety of items sold in the past two weeks.

Mayhaps we can find a way to encourage a wider range of item types get sold on auction nights... maybe assign two persons from each auction team to pick out their favorite goodies on sale and feature those for the week.

Of course if you choose to preserve control, I will back you 100% as always when you have a sane mind. Let me know what you think.

Scorp whispered a small command and the message vanished...

The only other feature the MOA message system had is that each note submitted got forwarded to the main mail bin for sorting or deleting as needed. A copy was always sent to one recipient and it was he who smiled and forwarded the message to Emerald and Flagg. Mischief was his only vice and he wouldn't dream of passing up such a ripe opportunity.

Pratt laughed to himself as he thought what would happen next...

Emerald was shopping in Luna when the message came in. She immediately dropped the fabric that had caught her attention and spoke the words over the rune that would carry her away...

Flagg was out fishing for the fist time in more days then he cared to recall, alone and enjoying the fine spring day as the alert brought him out of his revelry. Again he wondered how he allowed himself to be brought into this but if the fish could see him on deck they would know he smiled as his recall spell took effect...

They both arrived in the clearing where the vault stood only to see Soul and Blessed commanding the golems to move its contents through an unwavering blue gate. The automatons carried chest after chest through this portal methodically.

Pssttt...

The pair turned to see Ophelia behind a tree, motioning for them to come forward. As they approached, she opened a gate and the threesome stepped forward. The portal opened to a private area holding many wondrous items. They were inside the home of Soul Blighter himself! The three of them looked at each other and without saying a word, they knew it was time to get to work!

As the golems and staff moved about outside the house carrying armloads of items into the cellar, the three of them helped themselves to what lay about. Ophelia went straight for a locker filled with cloaks and robes. Emerald was taken aback by a ring that sat upon a pedestal in the center of the room. It was inscribed "For my one and only, Love Forever and Always, Your Queen". The ring and a few artifacts lying at pedestal's feet made it into her pockets. Flagg was after big game and came out of a sack with two fist sized rare diamonds, a +60 Ancient Smith Hammer, a Tiny Water Bucket Figurine, and some +20 Stat scrolls. Leaning on a Staff of the Magi, he walked toward the waiting MOA women.

Emerald nodded around and opened the gate to MOA main where their picks of the week would be submitted whether management wanted to do those this week or not. They came out with no less then the following would be surprises for these week's show.

• A Full Set of Vet Reward Robes and Matching Cloaks - ALL of Them!!!
• 2 Large Rare Diamonds
• Staff of the Magi
• Leggings of Bane
• Water Trough Facing West
• Beautiful Inscribed Gold Ring
• +20 Stats Scroll
• +60 ASH!
• and Much, MUCH More...

So this week, you will be able to join the crew that brings you as much as possible, all the time, for two nights of fun and auction excitement, starting at 9pm by the Eastern sky. Every Wednesday and Thursday the auctions are ready to go and every Monday the Castle heats up with Majestic Madness events that change weekly.

As always, all information regarding this organization and their staff can be found at, www.uo-moa.net

Hope to see you this week and always!

The Majestic Oaks Family
www.uo-moa.net

For starters, the Majestically Mad Crazies over at the castle will be doing Majestic Casino this Monday Evening at 8pm CST (9pm EST). Please come join us as we play: Darts, Roulette, The Three Villians (Slots), Mondain's Revenge, High/Low/7, Dice, and everyone's favorite - Russian Roulette! Gates will be available from W. Brit Bank and Luna Bank for the majority of the evening. As always, check vendors (no markup) will be on hand for your convenience.

Additionally, we continue to see loads of empty Tomes around the lands! This can not be! Bring your empty or partially filled Tomes to the castle and we will fill them for FREE!!!

It seems the Tooth Fairy became tired of the soiled snow in the castle courtyard and gave us a Stable!!! And thanks to the generousity of Rhey of Ultima's we now have a Saddle as well. To show our appreciation, Rhey's Doom & SE Stealables Vendors will be featured at Majestic Madness for the next two weeks! We will have a rune locked down at the castle and will be handing out runes to Rhey's vendors, the castle, and the auction house. All you need to do is ask any of the gaters or dealers.

Rhey's vendors can be found at J & W Vendors Too (owned by Jasmine and Wolf of Ultima's), located along the road, just South of the Southern Luna Entrance (81 28'N 23 33'W) in Malas.

So now that we have this really cool stable, right in front of the castle I might add, we ask that next time you visit us, please leave your mount there.

The Majestic Madness Lunatics
www.uo-moa.net

From the desk of Lady Ophelia

It was another exciting night at Majestic Oaks Auction, with celebrity visits, 40 mil bids, and the lovely Ophelia reporting on the night's events! Ok ok ok, yes, I know, you were all disappointed you didn't see my face auctioneering for you lot. I think DJ did a superb job behind the counter, even if he doesn't have my girlish figure.

Ok enough about me, let's get to the items! MOA had some fantabulisticeriffic items! Did I just make up a word? I guess I did! That's just how great it was! Not only were the items great, so were the patrons. In fact (prepares herself to read them all really fast) we saw Robyn, Indiana Jones, Knight, Lord Brightblade, Lord Tyler, Pimpen, Alexandria, Trina, Warloc, Michael, Ithido Zoate, Lady Savannah, Squall (with squalls lesser hiryu of course), Diz Z Wisczerd, The Wolf, Enola, Lady Stealheart, Stacy, Slartibartfast, Muntz, Dodge, Lord Phantom, Lord Rooque, lockly, Anderus, Lord Matrix, Phlanex, A Fire Scarab, Alexandria, Piub, Jack, Lady Poison Ivy, Hottie, Lady Spudtrina, Astroxtra, LOBO, Mr. Heavy Metal, Deadpool, Lord Rivan, Odin, Exur Kan, Doc, Lord Magnus, Arirang, Blue, Kandice, Shadow, river, Lord Zander, Lady Raven, Canu Cerdd, Heroine Protagon, Gimli, J Rock, Kandi, and more!

Oh come on, you know you all wanted to see your name in the story.

After last week's exciting visit from the GL EM Leto (see stunning photo of the EM below), we got a visit from the lovely GM Sparkle last evening! (see equally stunning photo of the GM below).

Event Moderator Leto dances on table to everyones delight!

GM Sparkle chatting with Ophelia!

MOA saw some great bidding wars last night, with Deadpool (pictured here) leading the way! Deadpool and Ferros fought back and forth over a set of 6 dye tubs, with Deadpool taking the prize at 2.8 million gps. DP (as I affectionately call him now) also won a great ankh deed for 1.2 million gps. Matrix walked away with a nifty banner deed.

Raven was able to snag an ethereal beetle for 1.2 mil, while storie grabbed an ethereal llama for 1 mil. It was a night of great rewards, great weapons, and even greater rares!

There was even a bit of trivia for patrons to win some free gold. Our auctioneer DJ Scorp asked "Who were the twins in the Star Wars movies." Within the blink of an eye, responses were flooding in. Magnus and Bost both walked away with 25k for answering the question correctly. Congrats you two!

Of course, as usual, DJ had to give a prize to the lovely lady who best caught his eye - a prize which went to Renee (pictured on the right). Unfortunately for DJ, the staff gave him such a hard time for this, he felt obligated to award a check to the ugliest patron in the house - The Wolf - who not only knew he was ugly but was quite proud of it! Oddly enough, while being the ugliest in the house, The Wolf spent the evening with one of the loveliest ladies in the house, Ezmerelda, on his lap! The Wolf will be selling his secret next Thursday to the highest bidder.

Beauty and the Beast!

The night ended with a legendary bidding over a cluster of ale bottles. This unique and desirable server birth rare ended up going to (yup! You guessed it) Deadpool at an ASTONISHING 40 Mil.

Over all it was another successful Thursday night, with a great crowd and a great crew. Come check us out next Thursday and see the best show in town for yourself!

The Majestic Oaks Team
www.uo-moa.net

MOA's scavenger hunt on Friday night began ordinarly enough. This time, we were not handing out a book of clues, but instead hunting for certain items that had been planted around the ranger huts East of Skara Brae.

The first thing the participants were asked to find were 5 food items that each had 5 letters in their name. Odin came in first for that round, followed by Matrix and Shadow. In round two, Toxic was first to come up with 3 things you can build with; Storm and Ravnos came in second. The third round was looking for 2 things you play with. Silly Goose won that one, with Aksana and Neptune coming in second place. Round 4 was a search for 4 items starting with the letter B. Silly Goose and Aksana were first and second again, with Virtue taking third. The final round, 2 things you can fight with, was won by Virtue, with Storm and Matrix taking 2nd and 3rd. All first place winners won 100k, 2nd and 3rd place taking 50k each.

Before we could get to the grand finale, however, there was a strange interruption. A badly shaken man in a hooded robe approached the group. Introducing himself as Lash Valar, he begged for our help. It seems that as he sat in his house reading, "a vicious flock of cows" stampeded through the door, threatening to trample the man.

In his haste to flee, Valar dropped the document he was reading. Apparently he was very concerned with the safety of this document among so many berserk bovines. Fortunately, the gathered contestants were more than happy to oblige, and the entire group thundered down the road.

What a sight met us when we reached the house! 40 or 50 cows were milling about, knocking over furniture and eating the draperies! The valiant group made short work of them, and the cows were quickly subdued.

Stealheart picked her way through the gory mess to pick up the precious book and brought it to me. Bookworm that I am, I could not resist a peek at the book prior to returning it to Valar. I could hardly believe my eyes! I had expected to see writing in English, and at first I could not make any sense of the script on the page. Slowly it dawned on me that I had seen something like this before while perusing the library at the Lycaeum years ago. This document was written entirely in runics! I could not read it. Valar admitted that he was having trouble with it also, but was desperate to know what it said. He believes there is information of great importance written there. I volunteered to bring the document to the public's attention, in the hopes that someone knowledgeable in the old ways could make sense of it.

Our little scavanger hunt paled in comparison to this new mystery, and so instead of going back to the grand finale, we decided to award Stealheart the 500k for her honourable actions.

And so, here is the document in its entirety. We beseech any and all who are versed in the runic script to come to Valar's aid in making a translation.

If you can aid us, please come let us know in this discussion thread. Thank you!

Ethereal
MOA Events Manager

what a strange group of cows....

From the desk of Natasha

I arrived at the Auction House Wednesday to find many great wares in que for the block - this, I expected. What surprised me was Pratt!!! He was in unusally fine form! Instead of the usual Going Once, Going Twice thing, Pratt was playing around and yacking it up with the crowd. It proved to be quite entertaining but where did it come from??? Was it something in the air, something in the wine, was his wife out of town??? Whatever it was, I can't wait until Thursday to see it again!

Lots of items hit the table but a few were more notable than the rest. The first of these were 6 Bronze Runic Hammers. At first it seemed like they would go for 200k. What?!?! Only 200k?!?!? But then, Pratt danced around them while Whipstitch sang, "If I had a hammer".  "I'd hammer in the morning" was  quickly echoed in the crowd. Before you could say, Peter, Paul, and Mary, Coors snapped them up for a cool 1 million gold pieces!

A battle ensued between three very competitive females. Outbidding each other in a heated battle over a pair of 132 Luck Leather Leggings, were Peace, Gabrielle and Savannah. Gabrielle was not about to be bested by the other two ladies and walked away sporting a new pair of leather pants for 400k! (She must've had a hot date!)

A rare set of globes drew the attention of a few other patrons and before long, Mythos, InuYasha and Deadpool were engaged in a bidding war. InuYasha bid and battled and proved victorious claiming the globes as his own!

After a time, the Candelabra of Souls hit the block and brought on the bidding of Kuhl Brieze, Ericcson and Savannah. It appeared these three each wanted the candles very badly, but in the end, Kuhl Brieze ended up taking home his new lighting structure.

If you like fishing, then you would have liked to have seen the battle waging for a pair of Ancient SOSs, between Guyra, Savannah and Gabrielle. Guyra was not about to let the ladies take his prize, so it's a Sailor's life for him as he reigned victorious in the bidding.

Tonight's big attraction though was a very, very rare Server Birth Pitcher. Bringing in bidders such as Kuan Ti, Diotavelli, Jasmine and Whipstitch: This pitcher was sure to catch a great price and as I sat with pen in hand, ready to write down the bids, the journal flooded away with the bidding - these people were not messing around. They were bidding seriously and they were bidding fast. Now the person taking home the new Pitcher for her drink of choice would be none other than Jasmine at 26 million (Pictured here at her museaum with her pitcher). Jasmine, might we suggest you stop by the castle next Monday for some of Dosa's mighty fine cherry flavored Jamba Juice?
*Heh*

We do believe Sir Coors has a thing for the ladies as he donated 50k for the best dressed! Lady Aurora was the best dressed in the house tonight, wearing a red and white ensemble and looking very fashionable.

After the mystery chest was won, I was wandering the lands in search of a new pet chicken. While looking for directions from the local carpenter, a player named Odin approached me, who upon my greeting, said, "Look I'm a chicken". Having found what I was looking for, I promptly rewarded him with 100k for making my search so short and then Odin kindly brought me back to MOA.

*I wonder how well my new friend will do at the Chicken Fight Club?*

Hear ye, hear ye!

This Friday, April 15th at 8:00 p.m. Central, 9:00 p.m. Eastern, MOA will be hosting a scavenger hunt!

Come one, come all, for some fun and lots of great prizes!

We will gather at the auction house 20 minutes prior to the start, with gates as always from major banks.

We hope to see you there!

The Majestic Oaks Auction Event Team
www.uo-moa.net

When we last looked in on our characters from MOA, items were disappearing from the private stores and appearing on the tables a few days later for sale. In hopes for better control, Soul Blighter has hired two newly crafted Golems, made by Pratt himself, to guard the vaults from such underhandedness. Rumor had it the Wednesday night manager preferred to see all the items himself before a choice of what to put up the following week was made.

The Lady Emerald and the Lord Flagg were having none of that. Their mischief in the past weeks included sales of over 100 Million worth of true treasures. This week would be no exception as the duo prepared to challenge their ability to sneak past Soul Blighter and the watchman placed between them and their goal.

"Shhh" Emerald whispered as she pulled Flagg forward alongside the walls of MOA Storage house. Flagg wondered again how he had gotten roped into this as he took a pull from his flask to gain courage for what lie ahead.

"Just another example of what happens when I follow women around" he hissed and allowed himself to get into the spirit of the evening, back to the wall, creeping around like a common thief. Emmy giggled and paid him no heed. She gasped sharply as they came around a corner and stood face to face with the unexpected Golem guardians. Emerald pulled back and stopped Flagg where he stood. There would be no way to sneak passed those iron automatons without being noticed and the alarms would surely sound once they detected invaders. Just as the lady was about to give up the quest Flagg had an idea.

Placing a finger to his lips he bade Emerald to stay put and ventured forth into the darkness. At the vault doors, 4 red eyes stared at him unwaveringly and a mechanical voice spoke sharply in the calm evening

"State your access codes for entry to the private area." As he expected, the machine waited for a response.

"An Lor Xen" and the image that was Flagg disappeared.

When the guardians did not get the expected response, a shrill chirping sound rang into the clearing. Emerald was sure this would not be loud enough to draw attention so something else must be alerting Soul or Pratt. In answer to her thoughts, a blue gate opened a few feet from the vault and out stepped Soul Blighter yawning widely as he tried to adjust his vision to take in his surroundings. After a few moments he spoke to one of the golems stating.

"Command", "Access", "Security", "Report". The creature's eyes flashed as he responded blandly,

"Password" The MOA manager looked around before he said the words, "Girl Scout Cookies".

Upon hearing the correct code the guardian's eyes went green and a panel opened in its chest to reveal a screen. Words started to appear and Soul read.

Britannian date: Oct 14, 351
Unauthorized Access
Password Not Recognized
Alarm Sounded
No Intruders Spotted After Failed Attempt

Soul stretched as he closed the panel and reset the golem to guardian mode. A quick chant and the gate reappeared to his stateroom which already made him feel warmer and quite tired again as he stepped into the shifting visage of reality.

Emerald did all she could to keep from an outburst of laughter and then Flagg reappeared speaking quickly the newly found password and asking for the doors to be opened.

It was light in the clearing as the vaults interior was revealed to them. Treasures beyond imagination belonging to all the important submitters MOA represents from the one timer to the patron who brings in cartloads each time. They barely made it inside before the doors swung shut! They always closed seconds after entry and unless you knew how to get out

Flagg spoke the In Lor spell and preceded into the main room. The staff had been busy filling the coffers with fine and unique items since their last visit. Filling two packs quickly the pair smiled at their ingenuity and headed for the one way hidden door that would take them back outside into the forest side and out to the main road to Minoc. They strolled forward towards the auction house in quite the fine mood not even sure what they were brining to the table but secure in the knowledge that Soul would be a sight when he saw his system thwarted once more.

Yes folks come see what they have found this week at Majestic Oaks Auction (held every Wednesday and Thursday for two hours each night) at the main house outside Vesper in the Buc's Portal clearing. Come spend a night with us while our auctioneers take you through UO history with both new and old time items that will sell to the highest bidder.

Gates can be found at Luna, West Brit and other populated banks throughout the evening and many door prizes and trivia gold is always there to award. It is even said once in awhile we all get to have a laugh or two while we are at it.

This week you can expect, as always, the finest baubles for your approval.
Including but not limited to:
- Connected Bottles
- A Server Birth Pitcher
- Full Dye Tub Set
- Full Mini House Deed Set
- Legacy
- Repond Slayer Spell Book with 6% LMC
- Golden Runic Hammers
- Open Book facing South
- Neon Hair Dye

...and even some Blue Bread that is said to be left behind by Blessed Industry when he spent a night in the vault looking for the secret door.

All this and always soo much more from the group who are dedicated to bringing you fun and exciting events every Monday (from the Castle) Wednesday and Thursday always at 9 Eastern.

For a full list of items or more information on the staff or submissions you can visit us at our website for even more news!

Hope to see you there!

The Majestic Oaks Family
www.uo-moa.net

From the desk of Malikae

The crew of Monday Night Madness at the castle put on another great show for all to come and join in. This week's game of choice was the ever popular Chests of Doom and Delight - which proved to be very fatal for poor Vanna... as she got the unlucky task of opening not one, not two, but six trapped chests! A couple of them even contained Dosa's very tasty cherry flavored deadly poison brew. If Vanna survived any of the wonderful surprises awaiting her, Dosa, Keeper and Malikae promptly took her out.

The night's contestants were selected by answering Trivia Questions. Trivia was based on UO, Sports, and Fairy Tales. This brought many fine contestants up to the table to pick one of the boom boom boxes.

The most hotly contested item, with 4 trades, was 1,000 Valorite Ingots, which went from Merrick, to Ori, to Sipher and was finally won by Mystic. As contested items go, the Valorite Ingots were followed by, A Complete Set of Origami (won by Baby Jesus who took it from Pimpen, who took it from Malice), a Full SpellBook with 1,000 of Each Reagent (won by Victor who copped it from Henry, who stole it from Norris), and oddly enough, a collection of SE Baskets which were won by Sangria who snuck it away from Penguin who liftedit off of Lady Syn (who looked lovely tonight I might add).

Two of the hottest items on the table tonight were an "Insence Burner" which was won by Odin and a 100% LRC Suit with Gloves of the Sun, a Tome of Enlightenment, and NO JEWELRY!!! This hot little item went home with Storie. Oddly enough, while being hot, neither of these items were traded! Amazing!

The oddest item to hit the table had to be this nifty little statue which Pratt himself modeled for. It was taken home by Ithido of the Chicken Fight Club.

The night also proved to be very deadly for Walter O'Dim who is one of the newest members of the Majestically Mad Team. The crew saw it fit to welcome him in with open arms and a flamestrike here and there. However, the Lovely Malikae also joined the crew for the first time and yet she escaped this warm and commonplace welcome. How odd.

Great fun was had by all and you know what... we do this each and every week!!! So come on over to the Majestic Madness Castle on Ice Island every Monday night at 8pm CST (9pm EST) for lots of fun and prizes. You never know what or who is going to go BOOM next... well, you always know that Vanna will go Boom but then... it wouldn't be a Monday if Vanna didn't!

See you soon

Woo Hoo!!! Those wacky misfits over at the castle on Ice Island will be at it again!!! Tonight, Monty Hall, Vanna White and their cohorts in mayhem bring you Chests of Doom and Delight!!!

I just got word there are some mighty fine prizes in those Boom Boom Boxes tonight including:
- A 100% LRC Suit with Gloves of the Sun AND a Tome of Enlightenment
- A complete set of Origami
- An SE Statue
- A Doomsville Set including a Lamppost!
- A Specially Colored Fishing Net
- An SE Home Decor Set (SE Stealables)
- Commodity Deeds with Leather, Ingots, and Reagents
- A 110 Barding PS Set
- And soooooo much more!!!

So pop on over to the Majestic Madness Castle on Ice Island tonight, Monday, April 11th at 8pm CST (9pm EST) for your chance to wheel and deal yourself into one of 24 prizes! Remember, it is always FREE to play!!

What??!?!?! Free????

Yes!!! You heard me correctly! FREE!!!

So how do I play? How do I get selected???

Tonight's contestants will be select by answering one of 24 Trivia Questions. Trivia tonight will be based on UO, Sports, and Fairy Tales. For info on how to play tonight's game, pop on over here.

See you tonight!!!

The Majestic Madness Team
www.uo-moa.net

From the Desk of Daniel Flagg

I could hear the clucking as my mind cleared from the confusion of the recall spell. However, the smell really brought the event into focus.

That's right! The Chicken Fight Club (CFC) was at it again! Another Saturday, and another chicken fight!

As I entered the Fight Club, I was greeted by the CFC staff for that night, Henry Zoate, nectar, Quistis Zoate, Rachel, and MotherPunker. They were busy creating a festive atmosphere for the night's fight so I took my seat in the crowd. I didn't have to wait long before Henry Zoate announced the first fight.

Cattle killer vs. Freebird.

I could tell these two birds were in it for the prize. Cattle Killer wanted it more though, and Freebird was done clucking after the first punch. As one patron put, it was a one blow TKO!

The next fight was a grudge match between Cannibal Chicken & Rooster Cogbern. The fight was a long one, each chicken got its feathers ruffled but in the end, Cannibal Chicken served Rooster Cogbern up with a side of mash potatoes, and slaw.

To end the first round of fights, it would be Lunch vs. WhippychicII. WhippychicII being the son of the famous clucker, Whippychic, who was the only chicken to ever beat the now, retired, infamous Scrappy Chicken. It was suggested that we should have Lunch for dinner, but the crew if CFC refused the proposal by calling the two birds to the ring. WhippychicII lived up to his family's name by taking Lunch down with two swift pecks! It was brutal!

The CFC gave WhippyChicII enough time to rest and called him back into the ring to begin the second round of fights. This time he would have to face Cannibal Chicken. The crowd placed their bets and the fight began! WhippyChicII made Cannibal work his beak off, but in the end, Cannibal could not be stopped! With one last cluck, WhippyChicII was down and out for the night.

Next up would be Cattle killer Vs. Popeye's Chicken. I think Popeye forgot to share his spinach with his feathered friend, because the chicken to move on to the final match would be Cattle Killer!

Now the crowd was placing bets on the final fight for the night. Would the winner be Cattle killer, or would it be Cannibal Chicken, it was a hard fight to call. Patrons of the event bet 5k for their favorite chicken, and the staff asked a few more riddles. The crowd silenced as the two birds were brought into the ring. Not a sound could be heard from the crowd, as Henry Zoate announced fight.

The two birds met in a cloud of feathers! They clucked, they pecked, and they clawed each other as they circled the ring. The crowd was on the edge of their seats! Then in a swift final peck, Cannibal Chicken let out a victory cluck that echoed throughout the building. The crowd cheered wildly, Cannibal Chicken had proven to be this week's ruler of the roost!

Henry Zoate called the winners into the ring, and began handing out the prizes.
• A third place prize of 100k went to owner of Popeye's Chicken, GoldDigger.
• 150k went to second place winner nectar, for his valiant bird Cattle Killer.
• Then of course, the first place prize of 225k went to Linchpin, the proud owner and trainer of Cannibal Chicken!

This week marked the three-month anniversary of the event. It was a great night; the staff of CFC did an outstanding job of hosting a fun night. They entertained the crowd throughout the night with their chicken riddles. Prizes were provided by this evening's sponsors, High Drama Vendors, Rhen and Company, and Michel's General Store. Chicken Fight Club [CFC] hosts their chicken fights every Saturday night at 8 PM by the Eastern skies. Be sure and check them out next week! It is the most fun you can have with a bunch of chickens, unless of course you got a grill and some barbecue sauce.

Gosh! I don't know what to talk about first!!!

On Monday, March 28th, 9pm EST (8pm CST), at the Majestic Oaks Castle on Ice Island, the Majestic Madness Lunatics will be doing Let's Make a Deal with your hosts, Monty Hall and Vanna White!!!

*Crowd Cheers*

And... due to the success of Free Tome Filling, nimble fingers will be at it again this Monday during the event! ... meaning... once again, as a service to its patrons, MOA will be filling the new SE Tomes of Knowledge and Enlightenment at no charge to its patrons!!!

*Crowd Cheers*

Lots of cool prizes and free gold will be on hand at Majestic Oaks this Monday so be sure to drop by the castle. You should be able to catch a gate from West Brit Bank!

Remember, it's always free to play!

The Majestic Oaks Team
www.uo-moa.net

Where: Majestic Oaks Auction House
When: During the Wednesday & Thursday Auction (March 23rd & 24th)
Time: 9 - 11pm EST (8 - 10pm CST)
Cost: Free!!!

With so many new Tokuno Tomes floating about, the demand for scrolls has skyrocketed! As a service to our loyal patrons, we will be filling Tomes during the Wednesday & Thursday Auctions at no charge.

Just bring your empty or partially filled Tome to the MOA Auction House and give to the MOA Tome Filler inside the little room. While you wait, you may step into the main auction room and enjoy the show. Our Tome Filler will party you to let you know your Tome is ready.

We are located in Trammel at 56 51'N, 91 37'E. This is SE of Covetous Dungeon and six paces East of the teleporter to Buc's Den. You should be able to catch a gate from West Brit Bank.

The Majestic Oaks Team
www.uo-moa.net

For the first night in some time, the house was not cold. No fire had burned for two moons now and if anything, it might be getting a little on the stuffy side.

Dosa Ravengard had just finished cataloging this week's submissions, deciding the list needed a little flair this week so she went into the dusty cellar for something more appealing. When she returned bearing her treasures, Lord Percival had already began opening the great windows before the dust could settle and then he reached for the double doors and let the days essence inside. The spring was coming for sure and the Majestic Oaks team will be ready with new and exciting items for sale each week to keep the season bright.

Every Tuesday night on Lake Superior, at 9 PM by the Eastern sky, the auction house will ready another two hour event full of fun and surprises. You may get that item you have wanted or you may even sell an item you no longer need, either way you will have a good night and a chance to win some of the nights gold.

This week the team has put together a few of the highlights which are as follows...

• Hunter headdress
• Barbed Kit
• Tunic of Fire
• Breath of the Dead
• Legacy of the Dreadlord
• Arcane Shield

The full list can always be found at www.uo-moa.net and new items are always coming in. Please stop in and join us this week. You wont regret it.

The Majestic Oaks Team
www.uo-moa.net

Well it's happened again! This page has grown far too long and it is time to archive.

For the forseeable future, this page will only carry the current month's news. If you are interested in earlier stories, take a look at the archives.

November 01, 2004 - February 28, 2005
March 03, 2004 - October 31, 2004
October 28, 2003 - February 19, 2004

The Majestic Oaks Team
www.uo-moa.net